you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
