So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
