I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
