I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
