he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
