Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
