please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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