I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize