wat bout pragnant strippers??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
