i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
