OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
