What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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