they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize