I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
