fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
