He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
