And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
