This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
