we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize