Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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