This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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