ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
