i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
