I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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