Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize