i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
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It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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