im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
