The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
