Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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