Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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