I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
