I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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