Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize