yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is the high leading the old right now
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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