chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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