Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
farters have to be the big spoon...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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