We named our party play list daddy issues
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
