so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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