elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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I just want to make out with him forever
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.