i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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