Your mouth is God's brothel.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
