Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
