but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin