pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.