he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.