I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
