Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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