Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
this is an emotional support booty call
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
