me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
