lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
