I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
