I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Too much gin, very little bucket
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize