Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I want her autograph on my taint
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
