either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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