I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
