Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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