my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize