Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
