oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
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Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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