are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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