no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
