Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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