rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
