I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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