I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
